Horror movie shout out

I think it would be safe to say that horror is my favorite movie genre. I'm especially partial to slasher flicks. The people are generally ridiculously idiotic (which I love and hate) and they normally have atleast one really fantastic death scene that you know someone worked really hard to come up with. I'm talking about you, chick who gets impaled on Jason's machete into a tree in Freddy vs Jason. I also love me some creeptastic ghost movies. I believe in ghosts so it's even creepier when they turn one into a demon of death all skulking in the shadows and popping up in your shower, because you're not even safe when you're lathering your hair. Although the toilet seems safe from ghosts, I've never seen someone pooping and get crazy ghost attacked.  I do have some issues with them though. After I wrote this I realized most of them apply to slasher movies really... Apparently I love and hate them.

Go on down to the dollar store and get yourself a lamp! For the love of god, a lamp at the dollar store will probably be on sale and cost you 75 cents, and it'll probably have a light bulb in it. It drives me insane when I know there's something spooky going down and it's so dark that I can't see what it is. I mean, I completely understand that when a flashlight/candle/fire/lamp goes out, it's dark. I've been in a situation where the sun is not shining and the power goes out. It's dark, and that's spooky. But in a movie I pretty much need to see what's going on you know? Or else I'm just scrunched up next to my tv screen squinting into this darkness trying to figure out what the main character is afraid of, I should be able to see it, but the lighting dude on set decided to take a nap that day. I understand those scenes where it's all shadow and we aren't supposed to see what it is right along with our hero or villian, but when they are clearly showing it, said character is looking right at it, but it's far to dark for my eyes to pick up then I just get cranky. I'm looking at you Woman in Black, or rather I'm not, because I can't fucking see you in the darkness. I really want to see your crazy lame or awesome special effects. I want to see the work your on set make up artist did on that actor. But I can't because you were too cheap to buy a lamp. Ironically, I find this lighting issue with bigger budget Hollywood movies more often then the low budget D movies. Obviously Hollywood needs to get lighting people who actually work. Thanks.

Look at that pool of blood... That is a huge pool of blood... lets follow it into the darkness...
This actually goes hand in hand with people our main characters just meet and now they feel this insane desire to save them when they willingly leave the safety of the herd. Shit goes down and everyone feels the need to act like a fool hero. Oh hey, that guy we met yesterday in passing on the street who happened to be with us when disfigured cannibal wolf-humans attacked us and killed half our group. Yeah, he decided he needed to save everyone and went off into the darkness by himself without a weapon but never came back, lets go find him. This is where he disappeared and there's this giant puddle of blood  leading down this dark stairwell, we have no ties to him and really don't know him but lets follow this blood trail and save him because obviously he's still alive. Who does that shit? If my own mother disappeared and left a huge trail of blood leading down a dark stairwell you know what I'd do? Fucking run away and get help. But most importantly, I would fucking run away and not follow this giant blood pool into the dark. Smart. I understand this would severely hinder the movie, but maybe not, they come back with the police and *bam* mutant cannibal wolf-human attack! It would be even more badass to take out an entire squad of armed men/women plus your original victim group because of course they would come with.

Best idea ever! Lets split up.
Oh snap! We just found the mutilated remains of one of our party goers, lets split up and look for this creep. Genius! You know, there is totally safety in numbers. How about we huddle around the fire in our locked cabin until it's daylight and then we walk/drive out of this mother and never come back? Crazy idea. No one would ever go for that shit. Now this may or may not hinder a movie. I mean your psycho could completely break in and everyone hides, because only one person fights back completely alone and no one thinks to rush this fool with every knife in the house. I mean why do you have to go look for crazy dude anyway? I certainly wouldn't feel the need to find them and ask them, "excuse me, did you by any chance kill my friend, cause that was totally rude yo. Rude." Why do they follow the person who had that stupid idea anyway, go on crazy person, go confront that psycho. I'll stay here and eat some marshmallows and wait until the sun is up because everyone knows that the sun gets rid of the psychos. Well, not according to George Clooney with his super sexy tattoo in From Dusk Til Dawn, "Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them, I don't give a fuck how crazy they are." But a girl can dream right? I can actually name several slasher movies where the killer kills in daylight, so my own theory sucks. But I'd be warm and well fed which might help me survive a stand off in total seclusion.

Weapons are for chumps (or killers)
How could wandering off alone to confront a man with a machete/razor hands/club get any better you may ask. Well lets do that armed with nothing but maybe a camera and possibly a lighter, maybe a pack of cigarettes. Sweet idea bro! You're killing me with the weapon situation. (tehe check out that unintentional pun) I mean I've seen a couple movies where someone goes all rogue badass and shows up with some sweet ass weapon no one would have ever thought of and almost live. Go you! Best weapon ever in my mind is in High Tension. I'll just pull up this fence post, wrap that shit in barbed wire, and beat you to death jerk! There's always the lawn mower in Dead Alive too. It's magical when someone completely shocks me with a creative weapon. I love when characters improvise weapons, obviously they are avid crafters bringing their skills to every single life situation. However, more often than not everyone has to split up and no one thinks, "hey maybe I should bring a knife so I can cut that bitch before he decapitates me".  Things could get pretty interesting with a group of people who fight back, you know, with weapons. Our killer would have to be pretty kick butt to fight 12 people in hand to hand combat. I mean that's stamina. But everyone has to make it crazy easy for him. The flip side of this is guns. It drives me crazy that someone reaches for a gun and then when the killer is walking, fucking walking, up to them they can't hit him once. Why do you even have a gun if you obviously can't use it?

Me so horny!
Everyone in horror movies are so freaking horny. I'm totally ok with some sexy time, but I don't understand how hard up you have to be to think, "we totally just saw our bffs get split in two by that horrible man wielding a sword, god I need to get some poontang sooooo bad." And then they go off alone, into the wilderness, where said sword man lives, and are shocked that he kills them mid thrust. Once I'd like to see a group control their strange untimely hormones and say, "you know what man? I'm covered in that one dude's blood, I'm not into getting it on right now, thanks." But I suppose you've got to get in that hot boob job somehow, horror movies just aren't horror movies without naked 21 year olds rubbing together.


You still breathing dude?
And finally, why does everyone have to lean over super close to check if the killer is dead. First, if you're unsure if they are dead you did not stab/shoot/beat them enough. If there's a chance that crazy dude that just tried to hunt you down like a wild animal is still alive, you need to stab/shoot/beat them again until you are totally sure no one on earth could come back from that. Second, did none of these people take health class in high school? We were required to do this every year until senior year, starting in middle school. (Middle school would be 6th grade through 8th to those of you who do not have their schools broken up into like 15 sub schools ) Guess what they teach you in that class, fucking cpr, and included in that is how to check for a pulse. You know, with 2 fingers touching their wrist or neck, you do not have to lean super close to see if you can hear breathing. Now, maybe these people were still giggling over the words breast bone when their teacher was trying to teach this, or making fantastic jokes over mouth to mouth, but come on! All of you missed that day?  I feel this would make for a wonderful ending to a horror movie. Killer goes down, main character beats then with a club covered in nails (because they remembered to improvise a weapon) until there is nothing left of said killer's main body part. (such as head or torso, you can totally live without a hand or foot ya'll, learned that in heath class as well) Not only would it be a pretty awesome scene, it'd be empowering and informative as well, attack until there is no doubt. Guess who can't come back for a sequel and try to kill you again? Dude who has pulp where his head or torso used to be. Unless you're Jason, he's a special kind of killer who never dies for real real.

So enjoy the next scary killer movie you watch, I know I will! Even though I'll be thinking any number of these, probably constantly throughout the movie. I guess you could say I over think movies a little too much, well you are right. I overthink everything in life. And once you've watched like 5 scary movies you've pretty much got the pattern, which totally opens the door to overthinking.

Homemade Brownies!

So by the time I got around to taking a photo, this is all that was left of my brownies. But something is better then nothing right?

I've tried several homemade brownie recipes and most of them have been duds. Not very flavorful, too dry, too many ingredients... I pretty much stop reading after ingredient 10 and start to do my own thing. No really, I get wary of a recipe that has 60 ingredients that you spend $80 for and end up with like 15 bars. It's slightly ridiculous, hold the slightly.
These are nice and simple. I find recipes all the time online and write them down for later, so I'm not sure where I found this one. It was super easy though, took me maybe 15 minutes from start to oven, and they turned out super moist and awesome. Plus there's plenty of room for add ins! Because who eats plain brownies? No one.

Now in my case I'm too impatient to wait for butter to soften, so I throw it in the microwave until it's are melted in the middle and soft on the outsides. Whatever, I do what I want, and it all mixes in in the end. I also used semi sweet baking chocolate, but it would also be delicious with 2 oz milk chocolate and 2 oz unsweetened or semi sweet baking chocolate. You could totally try all milk chocolate but for me, it would be way too rich. Do whatever you want really. They are your brownies.

So without further explanation!

Basic Homemade Brownies

You'll need
2 sticks of butter, softened. 

4 oz of chocolate (semi sweet/unsweetened/milk whatever. Just in solid form)

1 1/2 cup sugar

1 cup flour

2 teaspoons vanilla
4 eggs
whatever add ins you'd like to use. Some suggestions I'd like to throw out there are mini M&M's, walnuts, pecans, chocolate chips, caramel chunks/bits, pretzels.. whatever.

 

 

So you'll want to melt the chocolate first, I put mine in a bowl in the microwave and nuked it in ten second intervals until it was melty, stirring in between every stop. But you can totally use a double boiler for this as well, just make sure not to get any water in your chocolate or it'll turn grainy. Also be careful not to burn it. It's pretty easy to do, so a good rule is to melt it until just a couple chunks remain an then stir until smooth. Set this aside.

 

In a large bowl mix your remaining ingredients, minus your add ins. Stir until combined. Add your melted chocolate and stir until smooth.

 

Then add your add ins stir until it's well mixed.

 

Pour all this in to a foil lined, greased pan.

Throw it in the oven set at 350 degrees for 30 minutes

 

Now this is for a larger pan then I used, I used an 8 by 11, which you can totally use as well, but it took about an hour and a half to cook through. Whatever size pan you use, check it at the 25 minute mark and maybe every 20 after that. Insert a toothpick in to the center and if it comes out clean your brownies are done! If you put chocolate chips in yours, just make sure you have actual batter on your toothpick and not just chocolate chip chocolate.

 

And that's it! If you like to frost yours, by all means go for it, just wait until your brownies have cooled completely. I like to eat mine while they are still scalding hot so I never frost them.

 

Enjoy!

 

New Beauty Spring 2013 Test Tube Reviews!

I really feel like my title says it all, although I guess it could be confusing to... well no one. These are my reviews for my Spring 2013 NewBeauty Test Tube. Overall, I was more impressed with everything then I was when I first opened the container, so I guess it all worked out for the best.
Here's a recap photo!

Suki Exfoliate Foaming Cleanser

I tried to get a picture of this on my hand to show the texture, but my mom actually pointed out how... um... dirty I looked so I this will have to do! It's a little more mixed now because I got water in it.

Because I'm a freak about using my claisonic every day, and you're not supposed to use exfoliating products with that, I used this cleanser on my arms and legs. Owing to the fact that we are in a never ending winter here in Minnesota, much like a Game Of Thrones episode (I feel I should be on the look out for white walkers at this point because quite obviously we live north of the wall), I could pretty much always use a little exfoliation on my arms and legs to help my moisturizer soak in. I found it to be super thick and slightly dry, I was put off by that a little, it was like scooping up a dry handful of large crystal sugar and rubbing that on my arms. I also got no foaming acting from this, I rubbed it together in my hands until they started to hurt, and I didn't get any lather at all.  It didn't matter though, it's a perfectly fine exfoliator, it did it's job and my skin feels soft and fresh. It didn't transfer any lemon scent at all, and I was pretty disappointed with that, considering that I love lemon scented everything.  All in all it's a perfectly fine exfoliating scrub. The size of the jar in the photo is 1 oz and a full size is 4 oz for $32. Do I think it's worth the money, my thought is that you can get another perfectly fine exfoliating scrub for much less money in probably a larger bottle/jar. I personally wouldn't buy this, not because it's awful but because it wasn't extraordinary enough for me to want to spend that much on it. The scent was fantastic but it's performance was the same as any other scrub.

Clear Total care nourishing shampoo and nourishing daily conditioner

I only have a picture of the conditioner, I'm not sure where the shampoo went.

 

My mom tried this for me, She used it for about 4 days before she had to give up. My mom has medium thick, curly, shoulder length, untreated, non colored hair. She said it gave her hair a greasy/heavy feeling and weighed down her curls. In all fairness though, her hair never looked greasy, but it was much less curly then it normally is. On the plus side, it smells wonderful and clean and it didn't linger very long in my mother's hair.

Paula Dorf Baby eyes enhancer.

Here is my sample next to a full size Urban Decay liner which is 1.2 g, a full size Paula Dorf liner is 1.1g, so it'd be a little smaller then the UD pencil.

I used this as a highlighter on the inner corners of my eyes and under my eyebrows, I tried using it as a highlight above my lip, but the color was too dark for my skin tone and it looked like a strange shadow on my upper lip. Not a look I'm going for in my every day life, shadowy upper lip....  I actually wish I could find a concealer in this color because I feel it would be perfect for under my eyes. I also used this as a primer on my lids. I didn't find anything super amazing about this liner right away. I'm certain you could find the same shade, creaminess, and blendability in a less expensive liner. However, after using this for several days I noticed how soft the areas around my eyes were that I was using it on. This is a lovely neutral shade, I feel it would be perfect for a variety of light to medium skin tones. It would be pretty light for darker skin tones, but it does work very nicely as a primer. Despite it being a pencil it's exceptionally creamy and super blendable.  "Ultra nourishing" is a correct description word for this, it softened and brightened the skin around my eyes pretty quickly. I would gladly pay $20 for a full size of this liner, I only wish it came in other colors as well!

Phyto Phytodfrisant hair relaxing balm

I tried to get a photo of the texture of this as well, but it looked just as icky as the scrub did.

I finally got up the nerve to use this on my color treated hair. I shampooed and conditioned as usual, but instead of using my normal leave in conditioner and shine oil, I used this. My first impression is that it's more of a shampoo in thickness and color. I thought it would be a cream to be honest. So the fact that this was so thin was surprising, it was actually pretty hard to distribute this in my hair. It kept running all over my hands and it just glopped onto the first area that I touched. Eventually I got there though.. I was completely grossed out at the feeling it left behind, almost like I put glue in my hair. It was clumping up, sort of sticky, and felt super rough. I thought I had made a horrible mistake. I gave it a couple blasts with the hair dryer and ended up with exactly what my hair looks like when I blow dry it. I also used this and then let my hair air dry, there was pretty much no difference between using this product and not using this product and letting my hair air dry. It was only slightly less curly when I used the balm. I was so disappointed. Although I'm not sure what I was expecting, it's not a miracle worker after all. But when it says relaxing balm, non chemical straightener, on the bottle I guess I would expect a little nicer results. I mean I could get this by just blow drying my hair. There's nothing special in that result. On the plus side, my hair is super soft and doesn't feel like it's full of glue once it's dry, so that rocks.  I might actually continue to use this just because of the soft results afterwards. And bonus, I needed minimal product to make my hair look lovely after using this. Not it's intended usage, but why let it go to waste huh?

Just an fyi before I proceed with photos of this experiment... I am horrible, like HORRIBLE, at taking pictures of myself. And I have pretty long hair, so combine these two difficulties into one problem and you have these fantastically magical self photos....


It kind of looks like I'm attempting to photograph my sink... It's a lovely sink really. Well, you can see my hair and the sort of straightness/still pretty frizzy though... This is after I blasted it with the blow dryer. I'm not sure what I'm looking at, I think I was so focused on not getting the flash to catch my glasses, you know, cause god forbid I take them off... Or turn the flash off...  



I'm not even explaining this one...
This is using the product and letting it air dry. This is pretty much what my hair looks like normally when it air dries without this product.

June Jacobs Papaya purifying enzyme masque

I used this in the shower after washing my face, mostly because I am lazy and didn't want to have to wash my face again after getting out, and the mask was sitting right there in a basket next to my tub. Anyway, it smelled divine, again like apricot and papaya had the most amazing smelling baby in the history of life. It was super creamy, not very thick but not thin either, it's about the consistency of a body cream. It was easy to smear on my face and didn't appear to drip off, even when I reached for my conditioner and got a face full of water. I actually had to rub to wash this off, which is a lovely quality for a facial mask. It's also really nice that this is only supposed to stay on for 3 to 5 minutes as opposed to 20 to 30 minutes I see with a lot of others. My face felt super moisturized and soft, pretty much all day after using this. The sample size I received is 1.6 oz and a full size is 3.7 oz, I feel this is worth the $62 it retails for if you are into facial masks. I'm not big into them, mostly because I'm lazy (see above) but also because I feel like my skin is just fine with my regular skin care routine. I would actually consider buying this, I'm curious about any long term results this might produce, such as improving all over skin tone, how it works on fine lines, or improving the look of pores. I know it doesn't claim any of these, but it does claim to produce an all over radiance and it's supposed to be antioxidant rich which has to improve something right? The only thing that makes me sad about this is that you are only supposed to use it like once a week. Lame. Too much of a good thing though I guess.

 Forever Young face wraps

I'm totally wearing this right at this very moment as I'm typing. You're supposed to lay back, I guess so it doesn't drip down your neck like mine is, but it's cool cause I've got a paper towel. I may be lazy but I can't just lay on the couch and let a face mask soak into my face. If I'm going to lay down, I'm going to either A. take a nap or B. go to my bed and go to sleep.
This smells like my mom's bath and body works sweet pea scented lotion. It's not entirely unpleasant but I'm certainly not a fan of that scent. I ended up putting it in warm (ok scalding hot because I don't do warm, it's hot or cold only when I'm using the faucet, it's just how I roll) water and let it soak for about 5 minutes. The mask was warm when I opened it but cooled off so quickly that before I even had it unfolded and slapped on my face it was cold. Like stone cold. So it was kind of pointless to put it in warm water. Thanks for that suggestion face wrap. I bet it would be awesome after it's in the fridge and it's warm out. But, as I've stated before, here in the Midwest we are in a state of never ending winter and more cold just doesn't sound like a super awesome idea. My first issue with this was that the eye holes are strange, they are really close together and aren't wide enough so it overhangs on the outer corners of my eyes and my lashes brush it every time I blink. It's annoying. Also the whole bottom half is kind of large, the nose flap hangs over in front of my nostrils, the upper lip part is positioned on my actual lip and not the area where I would grow a mustache if I could do such awesomeness, and the mouth part hangs down to the middle of my chin. It's like I'm supposed to have a long face with super close set, small eyes. I'm not sure about this. But whatever, I totally get that this is made for a "one size fits all" face and there is no such thing. I got it all positioned and after about 5 minutes this started to itch super bad. I stuck it out and it was horrible for about a minute and it went away. So stick it out people! My skin feels a little softer after using this, not smoother and it doesn't look any different, but slightly softer. Overall, I'd be willing to buy this in a different scent/formula. I saw they had some coconut ones on the website and also some foot wraps and junk that I'm interested in.   But not this one, I didn't like the scent and it didn't really do anything for my skin.

This happened. Deal.

Luxurious Volume Fine to full blow out spray by John Frieda.

I'm not using this. The opportunity to have a really awful lion's mane hair day hasn't presented itself, and I'm kind of afraid to use it. It's not happening. I'm sorry.



I'll leave you now with this adorable photo of my dog.

Keep your fingers crossed that spring happens here in the Midwest soon!

Ps we had this major snow storm last night. Yeah, look at the date people... The awesome snow storm of April 18th.

*New Beauty Test Tube is a sample box that I purchased with my own money, everything in this review is my own and true opinion of the product, I do not get paid to write glowing reviews.*

And as usual, if you are interested in getting your very own test tube you can click HERE

Green Veggie Snack Chips

Quite obviously I've already busted into the large bag on the left and my daughter and I ate 2 small bags of the sweet potato chips before I remembered that I should probably get a photo. These are delicious! I love them and my 4 year old daughter loves them as well. 

Here's the word on these chips from The Jolly Green Giant himself. Ok not really but this is some info on the product. Does everyone remember when the Jolly Green Giant had a son and he was this adorable little sprout of a kid? No? I'm the only one then... I googled it, apparently he wasn't his son he was his apprentice and ironically his name was Sprout. Is he still on the commercials? I haven't seen a Green Giant commercial in ages. You can find him HERE and totally go to the bottom and check out the 1937 Green Giant, kind of scary.  Ps, I'm pretty sure I need to go see this Green Giant statue in Blue Earth MN, which also happens to be my home state, I had no idea he lived here. Anyway....

Roasted Veggie Tortilla Chips with Zesty Cheddar are crispy tortilla chips made with real vegetables like carrot, broccoli, and tomato, plus 17g of whole grain

Multigrain Sweet Potato Chips with Sea Salt are made with real sweet potatoes and 14g of whole grain, with 40% less fat than regular potato chips*

*Green Giant^™ Multigrain Sweet Potato Chips (6g per 28g serving) have 40 percent less fat than regular potato chips (10g per 28g serving).

Now lets be real about this. The cheddar cheese chips do indeed have carrot, broccoli, and tomato in their ingredient list. However, they are in the 2% or less category. Red and Green bell peppers are in the top 4 ingredients though!  I'm going to compare these to another popular cheese flavored chip, the Green Giant chips (which have the same serving size) have the same amount of calories, 1 gram less fat, .5 grams less Saturated fat,  about 20 grams less sodium,  2 grams more carbohydrates, 2 grams more sugar, and the same amount of protein.

They aren't really any more or less healthy then another popular cheese chip. I'm not a huge fan of other cheese chips because I'm not big on tons of cheese powder. These have a small hint of cheese flavor and the rest is multigrain chip taste, which is yummy. They do have a slightly strange aftertaste, almost oily tasting, but not quite as horrible as that sounds.

The multigrain sweet potato chips with seat salt have dried sweet potato in the top 4 ingredients. Compared to a popular regular potato chip nutrition label, the Green Giant chips have about 50 grams less calories, half the fat, 0 saturated fat, about 105 grams less sodium, the same amount of carbs, slightly less fiber, double the sugar, and half the protein.  
They compare about the same to another popular multigrain chip except it has less protein and fiber. I just feel like a multigrain chip should have those things. But maybe that's just me.

So these atleast have less sodium then regular chips, and that rocks!
The multigrain sweet potato chips taste awesome, like a multigrain chip with just a hint of salt. These have a more prominent oily aftertaste though and I'm not sure I like that part of these. I'm on the fence, I like the taste of them as I'm eating them but that aftertaste really isn't pleasant. I also love that they have less sodium then regular chips. But I still can't commit to them.

Overall, I would definitely buy the Green Giant Roasted Veggie Tortilla Chips with Zesty Cheddar, but I'm not totally sure about the Multigrain Sweet Potato Chips with Sea Salt.  I really feel like these are definitely worth a try if you are into multigrain chips, which I totally am.

Both of these retail for about  $2.99 and you can find them in your grocer's snack isle. You can find them on the Green Giant website HERE if you would like to research them further.

**I received this product sample from BzzAgent for review.
This is my honest opinion of this product. I do not get paid to give a good review.**

Food Network's a Birthday Cake For Every Month. April's Lemon Meringue Cake!

Well here it is! You can find this recipe HERE and you'll need the Basic Vanilla Cake recipe which you will find HERE.

I vowed, only last month, to never ever attempt meringue again. I had a disastrous go at meringue cookies in early March and it was horrible. Looking back, I'm certain the recipe was flawed, because this meringue actually thickened and formed it's peaks like it was supposed to. Although, it took a full 15 minutes of beating instead of the 6 to 8 minutes the recipe promised. I'm glad I kept at it really, I had started to think how I could persuade my mom to make it for me at the 11 minute mark.
It wasn't that hard to make, a little time consuming sure, but not very hard. I don't own a double boiler, or a bowl suitable to set on top of a sauce pan of boiling water for that matter, so the only really horrible part was having to literally hold a smaller pan above the water in a larger pan and stir with my other hand for like 10 minutes. It occurred to me that the bowls I put super hot stuff in are metal on the inside but they are the non skid rubber on the outside, so obviously that wouldn't be fantastic to use as a double boiler bowl, all my other bowls are glass and I'm not willing to risk breaking them. Because I'm super impatient, I put my lemon filling in the freezer instead of the fridge and made the meringue. By the time it was done the filling was "set" and ready to go. I ended up using only half the filling that I made, if I ever made this again (which I won't) I would totally cut that recipe in half. The meringue was super easy to spread over the cake, much easier then I thought it would be, easier then using frosting. I'm a horrible cake froster, don't even get me started.  You're supposed to brown this one with a kitchen torch but considering I'm pretty accident prone I felt it was best just to not use a torch in my kitchen, or inside my house at all actually. I like living indoors and not in a tent, in my yard, outside the smoldering ruins that used to be my home. So I just left it as is. The vanilla cake wasn't like cutting cardboard freakishly dense like it was the first time I made it. I actually followed the instructions this time, so that probably helped. The lemon filling turned out delicious with just the right hint of sourness, my only regret is that I should have heated it on low for longer instead of turning the heat up and rushing things. It turned out a little gritty because I don't think all the sugar melted. It still tastes awesome though!  I think if I were to make this again (which I won't) it would be fun to dress it up with some candied lemon slices or maybe some colored large crystal sugar.

One thing I really really love about this challenge is that I'm making cakes that I wouldn't look twice at. I would have changed this recipe to use raspberry or strawberry filling, I definitely wouldn't have used lemon, but I was pleasantly surprised at how tastey this was!

I also wonder if food coloring would turn the filling into more of a happy lemon yellow color instead of the over cooked egg yolk color it is... Not that it's that big of a deal, it's just a thought.
Well enjoy!

Spring Test Tube 2013!

I just received my spring test tube. I'm slightly disappointed with this one, because it included only a few things I could actually use. But, I think I've received about 6 test tubes now and this is the first one I've been a little sad about, definitely not enough to make me cancel my subscription.  I got the NewBeauty magazine which always promises to be an interesting read, and 3 coupon codes to spalook.com.  I also have....

Luxurious Volume Fine to full blow out spray by John Frieda.
A full size is 6.7 oz and retails for about $9.99 you can find it HERE if it interests you. It says, "to get salon quality body without the appointment" "Transforms fine, flat hair into big beautiful locks."
 I have hair that rivals a lion's mane. I feel a volume spray is a really horrible idea for me. Plus you have to use heat and I almost never heat style my hair. I'm slightly afraid to try this, just because of the sheer amount of hair I already have on my head. I'm not sure if I'll attempt to try this or not. Stay tuned.

Suki Exfoliate Foaming Cleanser.
A full size is 4 oz and retails for about $32.95, you can find it HERE. This says it's an "Award winning deep cleansing, synthetic free, alphahydroxy complexion rejuvenator brightens and evens tone, smooths lines and wrinkles, and eliminates blemishes and impurities from pores while jump starting collagen production." "Perfect for almost all skin types, natural sugar crystals, powdered rice, and pure foamers"  Now the first thing I noticed about this is that all the sugar settled on top and all the liquid settles at the bottom. No amount of shaking would penetrate that sugar crust on top and mix these two back together. I attempted to stir with my finger and it worked ok. I think it'll work better with a toothpick. I also noticed the smell. Mine says lemon grass (which I love) but it smells like straight up lemons in a jar. It's amazing! I love it, it's strong but because it's lemon scented it doesn't seem bad, it also smells like real lemons, instead of a soapy sugary "lemon scent" like so many others have. I'm excited to try this.

(Not pictured) Clear Total care nourishing shampoo and nourishing daily conditioner
A full size shampoo is 12.9 oz and a full size conditioner is 12.7 oz (Ah ha! That's why the conditioner always runs out first eh!?) This says "discover stronger, more beautiful hair in only 7 days with this cleansing duo that starts at the scalp where 99% of hairs natural strength and beauty come from." They retail about $4.99 - $5.99. You can find this at Walmart or online. Check out their facebook for more information HERE.  I've mentioned before that I have thick hair and colored hair, so I'm not going to try this. I certainly couldn't make those tiny sample bottles I received last 7 days. They'd be more of a single use for me. My mom is trying this out though so yeah, atleast someone can use it. It smells nice, that's my thought on it.

Paula Dorf Baby eyes enhancer.
The full size of this is .4 oz or 1.1g, just for a comparison a full size Urban Decay eye liner is 1.2g, I'll do a side by side picture of the sample I got and a full size liner for when I do my review.  This retails for $20.  You can find it HERE if your interested. It says " With this ultranourishing liner, add a touch of radiance to the eyes and lips, accentuating the natural beauty you were born with."
I've never had a nude colored eye pencil before, so I'm excited to try this out. But at the same time I've never been super interested in having a nude colored eye pencil so it'll be different. It also says you can use this as a highlighter so I'll try that out as well.

Phyto Phytodfrisant hair relaxing balm
This full size is 3.3 oz and retails for about $26. you can find it HERE.  It says "tame unruly locks and instantly detangle color treated hair with this leave in conditioner (I dont' have this) and chemical free straightening treatment (I have this) which soothe and restore for shiney, sleek strands that last."
I'm on the fence about this. I'm a little weirded out using a "relaxing balm" but I'm also excited thinking of the results if it doesn't jack up my hair in the process. I'm also not excited about the fact that this is also heat activated. I'm just not a heat style kind of person. But I'll try it, maybe.

June Jacobs Papaya purifying enzyme masque
The full size for this is 3.7 oz and retails for $62. You can find it HERE.  It says, "Treat your skin to a "supernatural" facial with this anti oxidant rich mask that leaves skin radiant and refreshed with every use."   This smells amazing! It's like apricot and papaya had a super delicious smelling baby. When I was young and stupid and went tanning I had this fantastic tanning lotion called Foxy in a velvety bottle (bad idea for tanning lotion honestly) but it smelled exactly like this mask. I'm completely in love with this scent. So I'm super excited to try this as well!

I also got 2 full size Forever Young face wraps
They come in one size and they retail for $5 each. you can find it HERE.  It says, "for a spa like treatment that can be had at home, try an ultrahydrating facial wrap that leaves skin looking and feeling refreshed and rejuvenated."  It suggests placing in a bowl of warm water or putting it in the fridge for a warm or cool facial.
I like that these are single serving size, and it comes in a sheet that you just place on your face instead of having to deal with the mess of cream masks. This would be fantastic for travel, throw one in your bag and use it before you go to bed, or on a plane, or wherever really. 

Stay tuned for reviews of these products and individual photos! I'll have them up in a couple of weeks!


*New Beauty Test Tube is a sample box that I purchased with my own money, everything in this review is my own and true opinion of the product, I do not get paid to write glowing reviews.*


If you are interested in receiving your own Test Tube you can check it out HERE

Spring Favorites!

Since it's technically, according to the calendar, spring I thought I throw out some spring favorites.  I say technically spring, because I'm not sure if spring will actually hit us here in the Midwest.... I watched in horror as it snowed last night and we are expecting more snow later today. It's APRIL, Go home winter, you're drunk.  Now they are predicting snow later this week, up to 10 inches. Um again, it's April. I mean, just because we didn't have much of a winter last year doesn't mean it can just hang out as long as it wants this year. I have giant pumpkins and mammoth sunflowers to grow. I need it to be spring soon. Plus, I'm tired of it being so dark and cold and sad. I'd like to see the grass again at some point. I've forgotten what it looks like.

I've got a variety of favorites this time! We'll start with hair and work our way down yeah?




 Garnier Fructis Sleek and Shine Intensely smooth leave in conditioning cream.
I believe I paid somewhere around $4 for this. You can get it at walmart, target, and pretty much anywhere Fructis products are sold. It's part of the "Sleek and Shine" campaign, I hope they keep it. If I hadn't dyed my hair, I would have kept buying the "Sleek and Shine" shampoo/conditioner but I switched to the Garnier Fructis color treated shampoo/conditioner, but I'm soooo not impressed with it. It's thin and slightly pink, as a platinum blonde my stylist told me not to use colored hair products. I need to switch, obviously. Back to the leave in conditioner. It says that it has "Argan oil from morocco and apricot". You can smell the apricot, it's glorious. It also says that you can use it on damp or dry hair. Now I had no results what so ever when I used this on my dry hair. It didn't control frizz, help my flyaway, condition my hair, or leave it greasy and limp. My lion's mane of hair was unchanged. I use this at night, after my shower, I smooth some over and under my hair, and throw a little extra on the ends, then brush it out, and go to sleep. I wake up with super soft, manageable, waves every time. It's fantastic!

Yon-Ka Masque N 1 Time release Intense Moisture, This is a little more of a splurge for me, considering that it's about $45 a tube on Amazon.  I'm loving the jasmine florally scent, it reminds me of spring and I forget about living in this winter wonderland for a second, my skin is much less red, and fully moisturized when I use it at night. I have noticed a little goes a long way with this product, it is on the thin side, and it spreads out very easily. I like to throw it on right after I get in bed, read a couple chapters of whatever Harry Potter book I'm reading and by the time I'm ready to sleep it has all absorbed. It takes about 10 minutes for it to full absorb on my face and my skin is on the dryer side. I had tried using this in the daytime, before putting on my make up, but even after waiting 10 minutes my foundation was still streaky going over the top of this. I originally wrote this off as a bad moisturizer until I started using it at night. So glad I did!

My Urban Decay Roller Girl eye shadow palette. This isn't available anymore but, thanks to the build your own palette option, you can recreate it if you'd like.  It had 4 colors in it, Woodstock, Verve, Suspect, and Darkhorse. It came with a 24/7 eyeliner in Whiskey I believe.  Everything is available in singles at Urban Decay. The pink really makes it easy to create some fun looks with a little spunk. I also love pink, so yeah. Nothing feels like spring then a soft brown smokey eye with a hint of bright pink! I don't generally use the brown eyeliner, except to line my lash line and smudge it underneath. I always always have black on my waterline. All the colors are shimmery and exceptionally blendable, as you would expect from Urban Decay. Again, with their build your own palette option you could recreate this palette with all mattes if shimmer isn't your thing. I prefer shimmers, I feel they are more forgiving on my face, but it's all personal preference.

I recently bought some super fantastic t-shirts at Old Navy, the vintage v neck tees. Hello most comfy shirt I've ever worn in my life. I love Old Navy, the prices and the styles, but their shirts never seem to fit me right. On me they look boxey and strange. But these t-shirts are great! They are all worn and soft, so they move and fit wonderfully without being clingy or too loose. They didn't shrink in the slightest when I washed and dried them.They are also on the thin side, which is a must for me because I'm ALWAYS warm. You can get them at Old Navy for $9.50 but, as any Old Navy shopper knows, there are always sales going on. When I bought they they were 2/$10, but $9.50 isn't bad for a t-shirt at all.

My rainbow Sketchers! I need the shape up Sketchers because being on my feet all day causes me major foot, leg, and back problems without them. I got them for about $45 on the Sketchers website. Normally I find shape ups at Kohl's or our local shoe store in the hopes that they will be $30 or less, but that means I'm pretty limited when it comes to color selection. I went on the Sketchers website thinking I wouldn't find anything, imagine my surprise when I discovered that they came in so many colors. I don't hate my gray ones, but I certainly would like them better if they came in mint or rainbow. So I bought a couple of pairs and was done with it. I got these beauties in the mail though and couldn't even contain my excitement! They are sooo cute! (and functional!)

Well, that's it for my spring (even though there's snow still covering my entire yard) favs!

Whoops! I totally forgot my Revlon Color Burst Lip Butter in Lollipop! I've been wearing this every day! I love the lip butters, they go on super smooth, they never settle into the creases in my lips, the color pay off is fantastic, and the wear is about 6 hours for me.  Lollipop is a great slightly darker pinkish red, not so dark that it feels like a fall color but not light enough that it's an obvious spring color either. I feel it's a nice surprise with all the bright hues of spring.  I tried really hard to get a nice swatch of this, but the tiny shimmer in it was all my camera would pick up. It's funny because this shimmer hardly shows on my lips but it's crazy in the swatches. It's pretty much the exact same color as it is in the tube though so that helps.

Food Network's February and March Cake!

February's cake had us in chocolate heaven! It's a chocolate cake, with a chocolate pudding type filling, a chocolate whipped frosting, and a chocolate ganache poured over the top.  I made it for my family on valentine's day, everyone enjoyed it. But be warned, it is super rich and very chocolaty. I do love that it uses semi sweet chocolate though, I found it easier to enjoy then some milk chocolate cakes that tend to be too rich and you can't thoroughly enjoy your treat.  I thought this was rather time consuming, but pretty easy to make. It took me several hours (maybe 4 including cake cooking time and waiting for the chocolate to cool) just to complete the frosting, filling, and topping, I won't lie it was super annoying and made me never want to make this cake again. However, once I tasted it, I immediately thought "I need to make this again". It's that yummy. Enough to make me forget how long it took me to make it and want to make it again.  With the topping, I ended up just pouring it all in the middle top and using a spatula to spread it out over the edges. Make sure you let it set before you cut it! And try not to eat too much of the frosting before you actually frost it.  I had initially planned on putting candy hearts on this, but once I tasted it I knew any other embellishments were unnecessary. If you like chocolate, you'll LOVE this cake. Even my plain jane vanilla loving dad enjoyed this cake.

You'll be using the basic chocolate cake recipe, which you can find it on the Food Network website HERE

Chocolate Blackout Cake (Food Network Magazine)
You can find this recipe on the Food Network website HERE

Enjoy!

 

 

March gave us a Grasshopper cake. It was good, but not in a, "I'd like to eat this entire cake" way. It was more of a "I'll have one piece and never touch this again" cake. I did have a good time eating my way through quite a bit of the frosting though. It's basically whipping cream and sugar with little chocolate chips on top. Hello awesomeness! I wasn't going to dye the filling until I saw the boogery khaki gray color it really is. I ended up ransacking the house for our food coloring. Obviously I'm all for dying the filling. If you want it to look as yummy as it tastes, then you'll want to dye the filling. I also added like half a bag of mini chocolate chips to the filling, instead of the 3 tablespoons it says in the recipe. Um, pretty sure more chocolate chips is always a wonderful thing. I also added about half the peppermint extract that the recipe called for and didn't put any in the topping. It was more then enough peppermint. This cake was super easy to make, although the most frustrating for me because I didn't lay out my ingredients ahead of time and most of them were hidden in the Christmas cookie box. Note to self: Find your ingredients ahead of time!   I found this one the least visually appealing, I think because it was only supposed to be frosted on the top, the sides were supposed to be completely bare. This bothered me though so I put way too much filling in and pushed down so it would ooze out and pulled the topping down to the sides of the top layer. You'll see, there is more then enough topping to pull down and cover the entire cake, but I had a hard time getting the whipped topping to look right. You can't see the back but it was a mess, I tried to frost the entire cake and it was not happening. So I settled for the top layer. So, if you're into mint and chocolate this is the cake for you! I wouldn't make this for a birthday cake though, unless the person I made it for was super super into mint and chocolate, but it's a fun fresh cake just for the heck of it!

You'll need the Grasshopper frosting/filling recipes which you can find HERE 
And the Basic Chocolate Cake recipe which is HERE

Enjoy!

Food Network's A cake a month and January's Cake!

In my December issue of Food Network magazine they had "a year's worth of birthday cakes" article that I took as a challenge.  Basically it's a cake a month.  I loved that they are all double layer cakes made from scratch, with filling from scratch, and each has it's own frosting, again, from scratch. The flavors were interesting as well. There's a grasshopper cake and a pina colada cake in there. I would consider myself an average baker. I can whip up some chocolate chip cookies that would rock your world, but I'm not one to really eat cookies and cake, so I don't make it very often. I've attempted to make my daughter's birthday cakes every year with interesting results. Lets just say, luckily the nugget is young enough that her childhood won't be traumatized by my horrible cake decorating skills. They've always tasted just fine though, and I never burn them, so I feel that puts me slightly above the awesomeness of people who literally burn everything. I'm better then a novice but it's stretching it to call me an expert.
I didn't own a round cake pan, but found two very easily at our local dollar store for about $3 each. Like I said, we aren't huge sweets people in our home but I felt a cake a month might be yummy. It's turning out to be a lot harder then I thought it would. After 3 months of cakes, I'm actually tired of making them.
But, like I said, I took this as a challenge so I'll continue this cake junk. You can check out food network HERE

First we need to start with the basic cake recipes which you can find HERE for the chocolate and HERE for the vanilla.

Both the basic cake recipes are way more complicated then I generally come across. With their bunch of different steps and mixing in like 20 different bowls, but the cakes always turn out lovely so it's totally worth it!  I do get lazy and end up chucking everything in the bowl just to cut down on my steps, the first time I did this the cake tasted just fine but came out the density of cardboard, so follow the directions. Unless you want a freakishly dense cake, which is still totally edible, but it's different to say the least.

So Challenge accepted Food Network Magazine!


If you're interested in subscribing to Food Network magazine, which I highly recommend you do if cooking at all interests you it's a wonderful magazine, you can check that out HERE

 

 It worked out that the January cake was vanilla on vanilla because January just happens to be the month my dad's birthday is in and he's a very vanilla guy.  We wrote on ours because I made it for an actual birthday. After this one we won't have a birthday, birthday cake until my birthday in May, so no writing. I'm horrible at putting letters on cakes and I find it super tedious, I have absolutely no patience when it comes to decorating anything to be honest.  This cake turned out just fine, I must have gone wrong with the actual cake recipe because it turned out super freakishly dense. Not in a horrible way, it tasted just fine, but it was like cutting cardboard it was so dense. If you're into vanilla, you will LOVE this cake! It's so rich and full of vanilla deliciousness. I would totally make this again, probably for my dad's birthday next year. Everyone enjoyed it and it was fun to customize. You could really use any sprinkles you'd like, it would even work with candy, it's a wonderful basic cake.

You can find this recipe HERE Ultimate Vanilla Cake (Food Network Magazine)

You'll use the basic vanilla cake recipe for this one, you can find it  HERE on the Food Network site.

Enjoy!

3 Ingredient Chicken Tacos!

We had a problem in our house about a month ago, my dad had a heart attack. So we immediately adopted a heart healthy lifestyle before he even came home from the hospital. One thing my dad loves are beef tacos, you know, made with the wonderful sodium filled taco seasoning packet and coated in cheese. So I ended up creating this dish with him in mind. He still gets his taco fix but it's a more healthy lean chicken without all the salt from the seasoning packets.  It's super simple and turns out, my dad loved it.  It's only slightly spicy, so don't worry about that.

You'll for sure need 3 things,
1 package of Boneless, skinless, chicken boobies. (if using frozen thaw them first)
1 Jar Newman's Own medium salsa
1 (or 2) package of your favorite tortillas
(small amount of olive oil, so I guess 4 ingredients eh?)

First you'll want to throw the salsa in a food processor or a blender if you don't have a food processor and blend until smooth. Set this aside.



Take the chicken boobies and slice them into strips, then cut those strips in half.  Cook these until almost done in a skillet with a little olive oil.   Then pour in your salsa, fill up half the salsa jar with water, give it a little shake, and pour that in as well.

Stir until it's all blended together and bring to a boil on high heat. After it's boiling, reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer for about an hour.

Remove the cover, and turn the heat back on high and stir every couple of minutes until the liquid has reduced to your liking. I like to reduce mine until almost all the liquid is gone, but it's fine if you'd like some juice in yours.

It should end up looking something like this. I generally continue cooking mine but this is fantastic as well.

Place a tortilla on a plate (Yes, I'm using paper plates here.), put some chicken on that, and fold it up! If you'd like cheese, sour cream, lettuce, onion, whatever you put on your tacos normally go for it!

Woooo! Chicken taco on a tiny tortilla!

This makes about 2 regular sized tacos per person for 4 people (we use the small tortillas, I found we actually eat less when we use them) so adjust the recipe accordingly if you have a larger family.

Enjoy!

Not my grandma's pineapple delight

My grandmother just moved into a new home, I volunteered to unpack her kitchen since most of the things she owns are over 50 years old and I love seeing these versions of gadgets I have now. I came across her recipe tins, it was like Christmas came early! Being the lovely grandmother that she is, she insisted I take the tins so that I can copy whichever recipes I like, while I browsed, I found a wonderful sounding recipe for Pineapple Delight. Dated 1920, so in all fairness my grandmother probably didn't write this, her mother more then likely did. I normally read ingredients and decide if the recipe is any good from there. Often I won't read directions until the moment I'm going to make something. I decided it would be in my best interest to read the directions before Easter dinner when I attempted to make this dessert, lucky I did, they were confusing and not in order. So if I would have followed them as I read them I would have had a random blob of pineapple mess. I decided to change it up. I opted not to use raw eggs in my version and just avoid the food poisoning risk all together, and sugar instead of cornstarch.

 

Obviously mine's been cut. I took this after Easter....

So here it is, enjoy!!

Not My Grandma's Pineapple Delight

Crust
1 box using only 2 packages of honey graham crackers (finely crushed, I put mine in the food processor)
1 cup sugar
1 stick butter (melted)

Filling
1 can crushed pineapple
1 cup sugar
4 tablespoons cool whip (or see other whipped topping options below, the measurement is the same for this step though)

You'll also need
a small bag of crushed walnuts
1 extra large tub of cool whip, or 2 cans of spray whip, or 1 quart whipping cream + 1/2 cup powdered sugar mixed until whipped cream consistency.
About 1/4 cup of finely crushed graham crackers (dry, not the stuff you mixed for the crust)

So to make the crust you'll want to toss all the crust ingredients into a plastic zip lock bag and mix it well.  Crust isn't an exact science really, if your crumbs feel like they need a little more liquid add a couple more tablespoons of melted butter (one table spoon at a time!). Your crust should stick together when you squeeze it in your hand.

I used an 8X11 sized pan, you can use a smaller one, circular one, or a larger one (but you'll have to adjust your crust accordingly) In a foiled lined, and greased, cake pan press your crust mixture into the bottom. Make sure you push down on it or it won't stick together. Put it into the oven at 300 degrees for 10 - 15 minutes. Remove and let cool.

In the mean time add your filling ingredients (except cool whip) in a medium sauce pan and set on medium/high heat until it thickens to a pancake syrup consistency. If it gets too bubbly and you don't want pineapple juice on everything or burning the skin off your hands, obviously turn it down to medium/low heat.
So when that's thick, mix your cool whip into it, and pour it on top of your crust. Sprinkle the top of that with some crushed graham cracker crumbs and sprinkle the walnuts on top of that. Then spread the remaining cool whip over the top of all of that and throw it in the fridge overnight.  Serve cold.

If you want more filling you can certainly double the filling ingredients! I had more then enough room in my pan for more filling and less cool whip topping. You could also try pecans/macadamia/brazil nuts if you aren't into walnuts. This recipe would be super easy to use any fruit packed in liquid such as peaches/pears/cherries/mango/even grapefruit would be yummy in this!

There you are! I hope you enjoy! Let me know what other fruit you would use with this! I'm always looking for new desserts.