Nerdly McNerdson

I may be a make up addicted, bright, platinum blonde, pink loving, glitter everything girlie girl but I'm also a nerdly mcnerdson. I'm going to be 28 next Sunday and I'm still completely in love with Harry Potter. The series has turned into my "it's bed time lets wind down by reading a chapter or two" book. Mostly because I love all of them, but also because I know what happens so I can stop after a chapter or even 3 pages. Ok, I never stop reading after 3 pages, what kind of person only reads 3 pages?  To take my Harry Potter addiction to a whole new level I decided to paint up our switch plates today. So this happened...

Quite obviously I'm not a professional letter painter but I think the slight sloppiness of it adds a little charm. Nothing in the wizarding world is perfect either. I totally know Dumbledore says "Light" not "Lights" but that's what I painted and I'm not changing it now. I let my child pick which one to put in her room and she picked the purple one, which is fantastic because I wanted the Lumos/Nox one in my room.

I wish J K Rowling would come out with more Harry Potter books. I'm not even joking. I'd read the shit out of them.  Or books about James and Sirius and their time at Hogwarts. That would make my life so completely happy, to have new Potter books to read. Darn it woman! Write some more wizard adventure books! I need to escape my reality more often now that I'm an adult and those would totally help yo.

Just an fyi, my child knows all the basics, her name, her address, her phone number, and all about Harry Potter. That child can pick out Harry Potter movie music from the other side of the house. I can't wait to start reading her the series, however, some of the content in books 4 - 7 is a little too much for someone so young. Maybe next year. Really probably a couple years from now.


I'm also obsessed, seriously obsessed, with the HBO series Game of Thrones. Not so much with Robb and his whole king of the north shit. And I'm not really into the junk going down with Jon Snow and the wall. But the Kings Landing drama, Daenerys, Arya Stark's plight, and The Hound's story, all over that. Plus I find Rory McCann like freakishly attractive so I'm just happy when Sandor is in any scene doing anything really. I don't think I've had a ridiculous fangirl crush on someone like this since before Nsync said Bye Bye Bye. It's on the actor by the way, not the character, although The Hound does have a certain appeal in the show, I've heard he's much more vicious in the books though so I could see the appeal going out the window there.
I feel bad for Sansa Stark, like for a while there I was just tired of her whiney little attitude about everything, but now I actually feel sorry for her. She had hope with Loras, only to have it ripped right out from under her, he may be gay but atleast he wouldn't be cruel to her. She's realized that she's been a stupid girl but it's pretty sad to see how defeated she is. I suppose that's reality for you, always waiting to bitch slap you when you least expect it.
I'm going to throw it out there and say that I kind of like Queen Cersei. Totally unpopular opinion I'm sure. I mean she's really not as smart as she thinks she is, but in my opinion, she's kind of a product of survival, she is what she had to become to not be just as broken as Sansa. Which is to say, she's become cold. I'm not into the brother lovin though so lets move away from that craziness for the moment. I can totally relate to having your earth just shattered and coping by becoming cold, cut off, and decide that you really just need to be more cunning then everyone else to never have that happen again. Just saying.
Pretty sure every single woman who watches the show loves the Khaleesi. To watch her grow from a weak little person to what she is now, rocks. Her character is pretty fantastic. I'm still sad that Khal Drogo died, I think they would have been a rocking team, but I suppose if he had never died and been burned the dragons would have never been hatched. Maybe though, I'm pretty sure she realized what she was at some point, blood of the dragon awesomeness.
How can you not be super interested in Arya Stark? All she wants is revenge and everything that can go wrong, does for her. Ok, revenge isn't all she wants but it's all I want for her. And with her interaction with Melisandre all "I see darkness in you, and in that darkness eyes staring back at me, brown eyes, blue eyes, green eyes. Eyes you'll shut forever."  Chilling and fantastic.  And kind of hopeful that she'll have her revenge that she wants so badly. Although it makes me kind of sad because she's really still just a little girl. She shouldn't have to shoulder so freakin much. Also, it's kind of driving me crazy that everyone keeps saying that Gendry was professing his love for Arya by saying she wouldn't be his family she'd be milady. Um no. Pretty sure he was saying they'd never be family because she'd always be higher then him. They'd never be equals. But maybe that's just me.
I keep saying I'm going to read the books (can I really nerd out to something if I've never read the book?) but then I keep getting farther and farther into the series and I keep putting it off. I'm saying now that after this season is done I'll start reading.

**Hunger Game Spoilers Below**
I also love The Hunger Games trilogy. I pretty much hated Katniss for the majority of the books, I mean how hard is it to make a flippin decision? Like what's up, freakin Peeta loves you, stop being a jerk. She just made it sooooo much more complicated the it should have been. Also, who saw the Quarter Quell twist coming? *Snap* The ending, not the Peeta/Katniss happily ever after ending, but the ending of the assault on the capitol was pretty interesting as well.  Poor Finnick and his poor son who will be raised by a crazy person who is so damaged apparently she can barely function. I also loved how it's kind of a love story without it being the central plot. Like yeah Katniss can't cope with her feelings but she's got bigger problems at this point. I also love Panem, all dystopian, broken up into districts with varying degrees horrors and suffering. Last thing. I did love one thing about Katniss. How strong she is, how she's broken, she's been broken by everything that's happened to her, but she keeps going. It sucks and it hurts and it's hard, but she doesn't just lay down and die.

I'm certain there are other things I nerd out to but I'm drawing a blank at this moment. I'll probably have a nerdly mcnerdson part 2. Or not. Whatever.

Palmolive Soft touch Influenster Box

"Palmolive has long known that the daily task of doing dishes shouldn't wreak havoc on your hands. Their formula now has more caring ingredients then before, with the latest offering in the Palmolive soft touch dish liquid line. Palmolive as always, Tough on Grease, Soft on Hands."

Ignore my Big Bucket of Strawberry Daiquiri that I couldn't be bothered to move from the edge of the sink....

These boast having Vitamin E, Aloe, or Coconut Butter and are designed to be soft on your hands while still providing their powerful grease cutting action.

 I received the pink Vitamin E and the Coconut Butter dish liquid. They both smell fantastic, the pink one has kind of a citrusy grapefruit scent and the Coconut Butter one has a hint of coconut scent. Both have a creamy almost lotion like texture and look. I was afraid to use it at first because of this, I thought it would leave my dishes with a film of some sort, but it washed away just as nicely as regular Palmolive dish soaps do. We already are Palmolive users, although we have a dish washer I do prefer to do a lot of my dishes by hand, and this is the gentlest I've used. We normally use the sponge cleaning one because I like the smell the best. The Soft Touch Palmolive cleans just as nicely as the regular Palmolive, there isn't any sacrifice in that respect, and my hands do feel soft afterwards. I really enjoy the scents more then anything. I've also noticed that my nails aren't as soft after doing a load of dishes, which is awesome. I don't chew my nails, but keep them short because they are so soft they rip and fold once thye hit a certain length, but maybe I can continue to grow them out if I continue to use this dish soap. I've also noticed my cuticles are less ragged as well.

I work at a deli so I do dishes fairly often at work as well, it normally leaves me with rough hands that need to be slathered daily in a hand cream. I switched our generic dish soap at work with a bottle of Palmolive soft touch and everyone has said how much easier it is on their hands. I stopped using my hand cream this week, just to see if this would really help, and I hardly needed it at all.

Overall this is a wonderful product! It does exactly what it says and still cleans like it should. You can find Palmolive at Walmart, Target, and your local grocery store. Or you can check it out HERE.

If you are interested in becoming an influenster yourself, you can do so right HERE.

**I received these products complimentary from Influenster for testing purpose. This is my honest opinion, I do not get paid to give good reviews**

Food Network's A cake for every month - May! Cookies and Cream Cake!

May brings me my very first Love With Food sample box, my very first Ipsy Glam Bag, my birthday (I'll be 28 at the end of this month people!), and a wonderfully easy Cookies and Cream cake!

I'll start off by saying I wish I had used chocolate cake for this, but I vowed to follow the recipes exactly. This one was super easy and required very little effort. If I made this again I would figure out a way to use more white chocolate. Maybe throw it in the food processor to turn it into powder and just mix it into the frosting without melting. This would be really good with any cookies crumbled on top, I'd love to use those little wafer cookies with the strawberry cream in the middle chopped up and maybe a strawberry syrup on top, with the white chocolate mixed into the frosting. Because the recipe is so simple you can totally customize this with any cookie you'd like!
To crumble the cookies, all I did was dump them into a plastic baggie and crush them with my hands, but if you'd like finer crumbs you could always use a food processor, although I'm not sure if it would turn into a paste because of the cream in the cookies... On second thought, a food processor might not be a good idea.
I really don't have a lot to say about this one, it took me maybe an hour and a half start to finish, including cooling time. Everything turned out perfectly and the recipe was super easy to follow. This is a really good one to get the kids involved with, since there isn't any stove use and you only need to melt a small amount of chocolate.


You can find the white cake recipe HERE. Or the chocolate cake recipe HERE. And the cookies and cream frosting recipe HERE.


As Always, Enjoy!

Ipsy Glam Bag - May!

So May is my birthday month and luck smiled upon me and finally there was an opening for me to get a glam bag from Ipsy. I've been signed up with them since they started in November and it was sold out, I'm considering this a birthday gift... That I had to pay for... myself... I pick and choose what to acknowledge in my life really.

You take a beauty quiz when you sign up and they supposedly base the contents of your glam bag on your answers. Now, I wish they would make it possible for me to retake that quiz because my answers are probably pretty different now, however, I can't really remember my original answers.  I do know that my hair color is different now though. But they said they are working on that so we'll see when/if that happens. I'm going to say, right off the bat, that the one thing I don't like about this is that it doesn't come with a card talking about the products. It's just stuff in a little reusable bag and a little card with "special" deals. I have to go online to read about the products I received. Which is totally fine, but I'm just saying it would be nice to get a printed card of some sort just giving me a brief overview of the products I got. Also, they haven't updated my account yet so I can't read about the things in my bag unless I look them up on their individual websites, and that's annoying. Aside from that, everything was just lovely so far. It came in a bright metallic magenta padded folder, that I loved, and inside that was a little printed cosmetic bag (not unlike the free sample bags you could get online from Target at the start of every season last year) filled with 5 goodies, some full size some sample size.  All of them are included below....

Zoya Nail Polish in Jacqueline

Quite obviously I'm not a professional nail painter and I am too lazy to clean that stuff up since I work tonight and nail polish never lasts an 8 hour shift full of dishes and hand washing.

You can find it HERE it retails for $8, I'm not sure if I have a full size bottle here or not, I couldn't find a size on their website, but my bottle is .5fl oz. A full size bottle of China Glaze nail polish is .5fl oz as well, just for a size comparison. So it most likely is a full size bottle.
My mom always says she had one other name picked out for me but was waiting until I was born to pick one of the two. The losing name was Jacqueline, I'm so happy she picked the one she did, it would have been awful to learn how to spell and write that.
This applied really streaky, and even after 2 coats you can still see some of the streaks. I've only ever owned one other Zoya nail polish and I had the same problem. It's a slightly yellowish milky nude color in the bottle, I fine it both pleasing and pointless but that's just me. In the bottle it looks a little more white then it did on my nails which have a yellowish hue to them.  It's actually a really nice nude colored polish that almost looks light pastel yellow at times, I guess you could say it's a nice wedding polish. It's grown on me the longer I've worn it today and even without a top coat it didn't chip at all when I had to put my child's car seat in my car. That's saying something, if you've never had to anchor a car seat you've never really tested fresh nail polish. I'd like to add that after an 8 hour shift working at a deli, again without a top coat, I have absolutely no chips.


Mirabella color sheer in Posy

You can find this HERE. It retails for $22 and comes in 15 colors. A full size is 3g which is what I have here, a full size MAC lipsticks is 3g as well just for a size comparison.
I never test colors on my skin because it's so pale it creates a strange glow with the flash on my camera and the color never looks right without the flash. BUT it looks exactly like it does in the tube which is awesome. This is a reddish pink color, it's super pretty in the tube and is slightly darker then my natural lip color, making it a fantastic but very subtle addition to my lipstick hoard. It goes on super creamy and I got about 4 hours of wear out of it, but even after that it had stained my lips a little in a lovely just-had-a-cherry-popsicle way, and that wore for about 2 hours longer. It was opaque in just 2 passes but not super thick like some other lipsticks. In the tube it has a bit of a shimmer, but that didn't transfer at all to my lips.

Yaby concealer in Buff

I set this next to an eye shadow just for size comparison. The shadow is 15g.

I could only find this in a refill pan, unless you buy a concealer palette. But the refill pan is $4.85 and 3.50g which you can find HERE. There isn't a size on my sample so I can't compare it there. Also the concealer palette I currently use doesn't have a size at all so I can't compare it there either.
This actually matches my skin tone with freakish perfection, I wish I had a foundation that matched this nicely. I was surprised by the creaminess and blendability of this. It looks waxy and stiff in the pan but melted the instant my finger touched it. It covered under my eyes flawlessly, in a way that I would expect from a heavy duty, thicker concealer. I would replace my existing concealer with this, it's wonderful and the price isn't bad at all.


St. Tropez One Night Only Instant Glow Body Lotion

The full size of this retails for about $18 and is 150 ml or 5fl oz, my sample size is 50 ml or 1.69fl oz, so for the price and size this is pretty decent considering. If only it lasted a little longer. You can check it out for yourself HERE.
I'm not sure why everyone seems to think I need a tan in the summer, this coming on the heels of my mom picking up a self tanner and saying "Oh honey, I used this on my legs and it looks so natural, you could not be a ghost this summer!"  I'm perfectly happy being ginger pale, in the shade, in spf 50 sunscreen.  This is a temporary tan, think one night only and washes off with soap and water. I'm curious about the point of this, if you have to continue to apply it after every shower. Also, wouldn't your hands look strange, assuming everyone washes their hands several times a day. (I wash mine so many times it's ridiculous) They would never be able to be the same color as your body then. This smells like an awful cheap self tanner I bough when I was 16 mixed with baby powder. If you've ever bought a cheap self tanner, you know the scent. However, once you apply it all you're left with is a lovely slight baby powder scent, not bad at all. I applied this to my upper thigh, one of the palest parts on my body, I was left with just a whisper of color and was slightly disappointed. I expected a little more or for it to develop a bit, but it didn't. Maybe it would work better with people who have a medium skin tone. I'm still confused as to why you would want a tan for only one night....

Juice Beauty reflecting gloss in Champagne

You can find this HERE. It retails for about $15, I thought I got a full size tube but it says on the website that a full size is .28fl oz, mine is .14fl oz. That's a huge tube of gloss, if you double the one I have, especially for $15. It has 4 different colors, I wish I would have gotten any of the others but this one is just fine. It has a totally different smell then anything I've ever smelled from a lip gloss, it's sort of a citrusy berry scent and reminds me of something from when I was a teenager but I can't place it.
This is a nudey shimmer in the bottle. On my lips it ends up being a very very slight shimmer that only shows up on my bottom lip. Over a lipstick this shows up much more but still only as a very very slight shimmer that can be seen all over my lips. I bet this would actually work nicely as a highlighter on my cheeks. It did leave my lips feeling super soft, as if I had used a lip treatment. I would definitely buy this in one of the other colors.

If you're interested in getting an Ipsy Glam Bag of your very own you can check it out HERE. If you do decide to sign up and would like to be super nice to me you can use my referral code right HERE. (Thank you!!)
 You get to take a fun little beauty quiz when you sign up and they base your samples off of your answers there. The Glam Bags are $10 a month. I'm not sure if there is still a waiting list but if there is, just be patient! 

**Ipsy Glam Bag is a monthly beauty sample bag that I paid for with my own money. These are my honest opinions, I do not get paid to give good reviews**

Very First Love With Food Box! *Update*

**Update**
I just wanted let everyone know, if you are thinking of subscribing with Love with Food I just received an email stating that during the months of June and July they will double their food donations to help with the aftermath of the tornado that ravaged Oklahoma.  Type in the code MAY100K to get $5 off your first box, if you are a new subscriber.

Ok, first, I love the name of these little monthly food boxes. Love With Food. This is the May box, it's titled "Mother's Day Breakfast in Bed" it says "on that special Sunday in May, we celebrate the most amazing women in our lives; moms! To celebrate, why not give her the day off, starting with a delicious breakfast in bed? With these treats you can whip up a delicious meal in no time!"
Now, I already gave my mom her mother's day gifts because I'm horrible at keeping gifts for people, I get them and I NEED to give them to that person like that very second. And just an fyi, I got her something much better then breakfast in bed which almost always ends with crumbs on your sheets.  But this is a neat little theme and everything goes well with it.

First we have Great Full Cookie from The Cookie Department, Inc. ($13.50 for 4 cookies)
"with simple vegan ingredients like sweet potato, brown sugar, cranberries, and oatmeal, this mouthwatering cookie will make you feel full and happy."
There is one giant super thick cookie in the package. I actually broke it in half and shared it with my mom, it is more then enough to share. It was much yummier then I thought it would be. It had no sweet potato taste but rather a slight cinnamon flavor. It was soft, not dry but not moist either, and had what appeared to be dried cranberries in it. I would totally buy these, or learn how to make them myself. The only way these could have been better is if there was chocolate in it.

Strawberry Preserves from Bonne Maman (these aren't up on the site yet, but you can get them at walmart for $3.98 for a 10oz jar)
"made from a time-honored traditional French recipe with all-natural ingredients that could easily be found in your Grandmother's kitchen."  I haven't had non homemade jelly in probably 10 years. My mom makes jelly every year in mass including my favorite, strawberry jam, so it's interesting to see how this compares. It's a fantastic jam. It tastes almost like my mom's strawberry jam. Plenty of strawberry flavor and chunks, no hint of sourness that some preserves get. It's thick but spreadable. The chunks in this are pretty small which is nice because they can be evenly distributed. Some preserves have these huge strawberry pieces and you end up with like one piece of strawberry on the very corner of your toast and nothing on the rest, not this one though. I wouldn't buy this because I get mine straight from the person who jars it, but should she ever decide to stop making it, this would be my second choice.

Original Cajun Seasoning from "Slap ya Mama" (this isn't up on the site yet either but you can also get this at walmart $35 for a pack of 12, but if you divide that out it'd be around $3 for an 8 oz jar)
"legend has it that this spice makes food taste so good it'll make you want to "slap ya mama". I LOVE Cajun seasoning so this went to a good home. I haven't cooked anything with it but I couldn't resist tearing it open to try a bit. Holy moly that is crazy spicy. After living in southern Louisiana for several years the one thing that I discovered about their cooking is that real Cajun cooking isn't psychotically spicy. It's spicy, much more so then we have here in the midwest, but it's more of a flavor then a bid to leave blisters in your mouth. I've found that "Cajun" in other areas means so much heat you'll wish you had a fire extinguisher. I bet this would cook down really nicely, even though it frightens me as to how hot it is in the package. Much like my molasses bacon seasoning, you probably need to cook it a bit to get an actual flavor. This would be fantastic with some brisket in a crock pot (or slow cooker for those of you who aren't familiar with our Midwest lingo) and to be piled on sandwiches, or with shrimp on a po'boy if we are talking a yummy Cajun alternative.

Tomato Crunch from Snapz Crisps (these aren't on the site yet either, but you can find them HERE for $1.99 for a .46 oz bag or $22.69 for 12 bags)
"fresh tomato slices are gently dried to a crisp texture, making a tasty addition to breakfast sandwiches".  I'm not a tomato fan but I'm willing to try it!
I tasted these just plain, ugh. Like straight up tomato soup tomato flavor. I bet these would be super good on sammies, the crunch would be really nice. They are like apple chips but tomato. I thought they'd be like dried diced tomato pieces, but it's interesting that they are in chip form. Much easier to keep on a sandwich.

Authentic Almond Biscotti from Biscotti Bari (these go for $12.50 for 8 1.25 oz bars on the love with food site)
"inspired by grandma's handmade Italian biscotti, this authentic baked good features locally-sourced ingredients."   I'm not sure I've ever had biscotti in my life, so this is new. Obviously, I've heard of it and know what it is, but I can't remember ever trying it. This was good! I love almond everything and this was no exception. I liked the crispness of this but not so hard and crunchy that it crumbled as soon as you tried to take a bite. In fact, I got very little crumbs from this. The almond flavor is pretty prominent so if you're not a fan of almonds, pass on this one. It also has soft almond pieces in it as well which is a nice surprise. This would be delicious dipped in hot chocolate. However, all I have is mint hot chocolate (because I'm awesome) and I don't believe in tampering with that.

Latte Candy from Bali's Best (I found these HERE only in an assorted 2.3lb jar for $10.99 as they aren't up on the love with food site yet either. I wonder when they put everything from the new boxes up on the site...)
"from seed to cup to candy, real Arabica coffee beans flavor this hard candy with a creamy milk center."  These are freakishly delicious. They are a hard candy, it says it has a milk center but I didn't notice a flavor or texture difference when I bit one open. It has a nice coffee flavor, not too strong or bitter, and a lot of sweetness and cream flavor as well.

Strawberry Pineapple Crunch from Mrs. May's naturals (I found these HERE $1.60 for one 2 oz bag or $38.40 for 24 bags)
This was a mystery item so it doesn't have a description, but on the bag it says "cashews, almonds, and pistachios in perfect harmony with strawberries and pineapples"
These were lovely. They are little blocks of nuts and I would assume dried fruit. I thought it would be more of a trail mix, but this is nicer, much less messy if you're eating it on the go. I would buy this for sure. I didn't get any strawberry or pineapple flavor, the almond and pistachio flavors are the most prominent here. It didn't really matter to me though. If you're a fan of pistachios or almonds in a trail mix sort of way, you should definitely give this a try.

Hand Drip Single Origin Coffee by Caffe Borsa (this is on the love with food site, it's $18 for 15 individually wrapped pouches)
"how do you enjoy a cup of gourmet coffee with a coffeemaker, or even a trip to your fave café? Caffe Borsa's ingenious Hand Drip coffee design brings all the bold coffee flavor you crave, any time, any place. "
This was actually really neat. It was the only thing I felt like it needed a separate picture. You really can make "fresh brewed" coffee without a coffee maker, the design of this is a little filter filled with coffee and little fold out "arms" that attach to the sides of your mug so it doesn't fall in. If you are without a coffee maker you can either boil some water or throw some in the microwave and pour it into the filter. This worked really nicely with out single cup coffee maker as well, it never overflowed and seemed to keep pace with it. It tasted ok, I'm not a huge coffee fan though, it had a bitter after taste to me but was pretty good when you were drinking it. My mom, who is a coffee drinker, said it was a fantastic idea and she loved the coffee taste.

 

You can find almost everything on here at www.lovewithfood.com on their shop page. I know at some point they'll put everything up but I found websites for specific items that weren't up there yet. If you are interested in receiving your very own Love with Food box you can also do so there. It is $10 a month plus $2 shipping, I chose the 3 month option for $36 because it's nice to try something a couple times before you really know if you like it or not. I believe you have until the first of each month to sign up for the next box. Example, you would need to sign up by the first of June to get the June box. You can buy anything from the May box until the middle of June I believe. Although I've noticed the best stuff sells out quickly.  Feel free to use my referral code HERE. Also if you like Love With Food on facebook they have been posting lovely coupon codes for a free first box.

 

**Love With Food box is a monthly food sample box that I paid for with my own money. These are my honest opinions. I do not get paid to give good reviews**

My hair tie battle

So, my hair is in a pony tail and I decide to take it down for the night. Because my hair is so thick, this is always a process, I need to do one "loop" as a time because it won't come out as a whole. Ever. I actually have to hunt down the thicker Goody brand hair ties because they are the only ones strong enough to tame my hair. The super thin and thin ones are the norm around here, I wonder if they sell them in the city where they have a larger group of people to please. I can't be the only person with hair that could only come from a Stark and a Lannister union. (for those of you who do not nerd out to Game Of Thrones every week, that's a wolf and a lion. Horrible joke, I'm sure. Although I thought it was pretty fucking clever. Also, both of those families seem to have pretty thick haired women with their wigs and what not.)
Well I go to pull the hair tie out of it, but it decides to get stuck. And not just stuck, like stuck so badly in the back of my head that I literally can't remove it. Like double knotted no one can figure that shit out stuck. I contemplated enlisting the help of my dad, who just happened to be awake and in the other room, true he is a man who has no grasp on removing a stuck hair tie, but I'm certain he could figure it out. At least he could see it, which puts him at a distinct advantage. I spend about 15 seconds, that is as much patience as I have for this problem, trying to detangle this rogue hair tie from my mane and am only successful at letting my hair devour it more. I decide I'm done with this and am going to rip that son of a bitch out. I've got enough hair to compensate for that loss I think to myself. This is totally true. While a lot of people age and their hair naturally thins a little, I swear mine has gotten thicker, ridiculously thicker. Like Merida from Brave thick, but if she were a real person I think I might have more hair.
 I pull on this villain of a hair tie. Nothing happens. I pull harder. Nothing happens. I'm getting crabby at this point, so I get a firm grasp on this awful fabric covered elastic and pull the hardest yet, thinking that maybe I'll have to bust out some scissors, when I hear a snap. Thinking that this was the sound of my hair breaking and feeling excited that I've won against the hair tie I give it a little tug only to realize that it's even further in my hair and now snapped into one long piece. That's right. My wolf hair annihilated a hair tie. A brand new thicker then most hair tie, all fabric and elastic. My hair outlasted that. What's worse is that now the elastic is exposed at the ends and trying to be one with my carved from steel tresses.  I sigh in defeat, but I also sigh because I know the speech my hair stylist will give me when I see her this month and she sees what I've done. I take a walk of shame into the kitchen and grab the scissors thinking, "all that and I still have to cut that piece of shit out!"  

 

Honestly, is there some magic hair tie out there made specifically for people with freakishly thick hair? I mean everyone is always all like, "Oh you should be so thankful" "I'd kill to have hair as thick as yours" blah blah blah. Really? There's thin hair, which I'm grateful not to have, my bff has thin hair and I know the perils. Then there's like normal hair which a lot of people mistake as thick hair but guess what? It's not. Then there's my hair thickness which is what everyone wishes for, but let me tell you something about having freakishly thick hair.... You can't do anything with it because it's too thick, much like the opposite problem women with thin hair have, we just have too much hair. You can straighten it and hope that takes out some of the volume, it sucks up water like a giant hair sponge on your head and then takes several (we're talking about 4 or 5 or 6 or 9) hours to dry completely on it's own, it takes me about an hour to blow dry my hair, it takes over an hour to give me a hair cut. Over an hour. Because my hair is so thick. It took 4 hours to dye it, now that can also be blamed on the length, but if I had thinner hair that was as long it wouldn't have taken so long. I pay extra for hair treatments because of the amount of hair I have. When my hair gets too long I get headaches. Why? Because it's ungodly thick and heavy. I mean it's at a good length now, grazing the top of my lower back, but once it gets longer it starts to become painful. It's ungodly hot in the summer and the winter, like a hairy greenhouse on my head. And I've lost count of how many brushes I've broken attempting to brush my hair. So ladies, tell me again how badly you want thick hair like mine? Pretty sure you don't. However, don't we all want what we don't have?
Don't get me wrong, I have a love hate relationship with my hair. I hate all of the horrible points above, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I don't envy thin hair or even normal hair. I like when a new stylist exclaims in surprise and horror how thick my hair is.  I mean, it sounds strange but that's one of my favorite things about my hair, that it delights and freaks out professionals. I'm a strange one, I've never claimed to be anything else.   All I'm saying is be careful what you wish for. We all know the perils of thin hair, what with volumizing creams and thickening powders, but no one ever talks about what it's like to be on the other side of that. It's like they just assume that if you don't want thicker hair then you must be cool. Although, I'm not sure what you could do to "thin" out thick hair without cutting it really....  I'll have to go think on that.
Hope you enjoyed my story turned rant!  

 

Lemon Bars!

I just don't think the yumminess translates in this photo...

For some reason last week I decided that the best idea in the entire world was to make lemon bars. Then the sun smiled upon us here in the Midwest, lifting our wintery curse at last, melting the ice and snow, (although our lakes are still frozen) and I knew that lemon bars were a fantastic idea. It's like eating a bite of sugar coated summer. Just to clarify though, there is snow in our forecast for later in the week. *sigh* winter will never relinquish it's frozen grip on us.
On to the lemon bars!!
I found this recipe in an All Recipes magazine that was tucked inside the plastic sleeve of another magazine I subscribe to. I can't remember which one it piggy backed into my home with. Like a steel trap this memory of mine. I've never made lemon bars before, nor can I remember having them at all growing up. My mom is more of a traditional Minnesota dessert maker, which means apple pie, pumpkin pie, and apple or rhubarb crisp, my great grandmother was more of a snickerdoodle, what she called Russian tea cakes, and rice crispy wreath maker, and neither one of my grandmother's really made desserts. Slightly off subject, I totally googled the Russian tea cake recipe, apparently that's what they are called. Pretty sure I want to make some now. Super yummy! I can't even tell you the last time I had them. Maybe the last Christmas we had at my grandma's house, I was probably around 12 so almost 16 years ago. And since my great grandma passed away earlier this year, I could use some nostalgia really.

Back to the lemon bars. All of this was easy enough, everything worked out just the way it was supposed to with the exception of the crust. But half of it was my fault and the other half was the recipe's fault. I felt that next time I make these I should really double the crust recipe and push it up the sides of my pan a little so it creates a little lip of crust to hold that filling in. My crust is super freakishly thin and I used the size pan that the recipe told me to use. So if you're using a 9x13 pan, double the crust recipe, or else use a smaller pan. This actually might be fun to use with round cake pan (or a pie tin) and make it as a lemon pie shape instead of bars. Next time. I also had to use a little water to make my crust doughy. So if your crust isn't sticking together like it should, or it's still all crumbly, just add like 2 teaspoons of water at a time in between mixing, until it's a dough. Also, you might want to double the filling recipe, I thought it was just fine as is but there could for sure be more and it would be even more magical. I also like to line my pans with foil before making anything and I just grease that with cooking spray. I learned my lesson after a particularly sticky batch of brownies. Plus you can pop the foil out and store it that way and free up your pan. You're welcome.

Without further ramble, here is the recipe!

Allrecipes Lemon Pie Bars you can find it right HERE as well.

2 cups all purpose flour Plus 4 Tablespoons for the filling
1/2cup confectioners sugar (or powdered sugar for us non fancy term using folk)
1 cup butter (2 sticks) softened
4 eggs
1 1/2 cups white sugar
1/2 cup lemon juice (I used 1/4 cup fresh and 1/4 cup bottled but you could easily use all fresh, but buy 2 lemons then)
1 tablespoon lemon zest (I zested the entire lemon because I don't have time to measure zest. It's messy and ridiculous.)

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F

Mix 2 cups flour and confectioners sugar together. mix in the butter until it resembles pie dough.
Press the dough into a 9x13 baking dish.

Bake 15 to 20 minutes or until golden brown.

Beat together eggs, sugar, 4 tablespoons flour, lemon juice, and zest for atleast 2 minutes. Pour the mixture over the baked crust.
Bake the bars for 20 minutes (actually it took about 30 for me so just start checking at 20 minutes and check every 5 after that.) or until the filling has set.

Sprinkle with confectioners sugar when cooled.

Makes about 24 servings.

The filling will be super thin, but it's supposed to look like that, don't worry. Just pour that stuff over your crust and pop it in the oven!

As always Enjoy!